I was just thinking to myself "MrPres would LOVE this project... could be done with a bit of modification of his explode code and combine some of ULX's freeze into it", then I realized you were the next one to answer.
I actually like the idea too.
As for the 'hacky' ness of it... yes, it could be a challenge.
You could have
some safety checking, but much would still rely on the admin running the command.
I imagine playertakedamage could be used in a temporary hook, perhaps along with
IsDamageType to determine if whatever damage happened to the player while function was running was actually a dumpster (or whatever else - dumpster would be a good size, not too big, not too small)
Perhaps 'crush' would be a better command name?