Author Topic: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!  (Read 10639 times)

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Offline Zyklus

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Offline Golden-Death

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #1 on: January 05, 2007, 02:39:56 PM »
Cat anti-gravity was invented loong ago


Offline Mank

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2007, 04:58:52 AM »
IN SOVIET RUSSIA YOU CONTROL GENES!

IN SOVIET RUSSIA RUSSIA SOVIET.
If you doubt your powers you bring powers to your doubts.

EscudoDenali

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2007, 04:41:29 PM »
I was thinking, and i realized that there is a problem with the antigravatory cat law, which leads to the eventaul destruction of the cat, even when applied with normal curcumstances, i.e. a simple cat with a slice of buttered toast glued to its back, butter out.  heres what would happen:

The law states that a cat caught in a gravity warp wills spin, and the speed of rotation will eventually increase overtime.  This is impossible.  Everyone knows that when butter is left out for too long, it begins to take in heat, which slowly liquifies the butter, making it softer and softer until it is just a semi-transparent liquid.  Now, while the cat supposedly is spinning, the butter will slowly melt, and soften, because of the atmospheric temperature around it.  Thus, after ten minutes or so, the butter will have softened enough to succomb to CENTRIFUGAL FORCE.  With the cat spinning at an ever climbing speed, the centrifugal force, which pulls everything away from the axis, will also increase.  The combination of centrifugal force and softened butter leads to this: the butter will eventually fly off the toast, bit by bit.  Now, because of the amount of butter dropping, the cat would,  in theory, begin to right itself, slowly turning upright.  The less and less butter on the toast, the more control of position the cat's feet have.  After the butter is about half gone, the cat would be upright, but still hovering, because the butter would still have pull, just not enough to cause a gravitational warp.  The cat would then, continue rotating at the speed it was when the butter lost its hold on the cat's physics, because there is no friction slowing the cat down, only air resistance, which would not have much of an effect.  As time progresses, more and more butter would fly off, until the cat eventually began descending, when the cat's feet overcomes the forces of the butter.  This means that the cat would, after some time, descend until its feet touched ground.  This would cause disaster, because the cat would still be rotating at a very high speed, and when the cat's feet toouch ground, the cat's bones would not hold up to the surface friction suddenly slowing/halting the cats rotation.  This would cause the cat's legs to become mangled, tore up, and pulverized to the point of no chance of survival. Everyone knows that a legless cat is a dead cat, and that shows that there is a fault in the law of antigravitational cats: the cat will eventually be destroyed.

Offline JamminR

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2007, 06:40:01 PM »
But you also have to ask the question... what would succumb to centrifugal force first? The butter, or the cat? Much of it depends on both the quality of the butter, and its temerature at application to the bread and then to the cat, and also to the relative health of the cat.

I know spinning a cat can definitely have negative effects. Though not the gravitational warp field speed that this discussion would provide, personal experience has proven spinning a cat in a office chair can cause detrimental, though entertaining, effects to a cat.
"Though a program be but three lines long, someday it will have to be maintained." -- The Tao of Programming

Offline Mank

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #5 on: January 07, 2007, 09:06:23 AM »
I know!  Do the entire experiment in liquid nitrogen!
If you doubt your powers you bring powers to your doubts.

EscudoDenali

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #6 on: January 07, 2007, 12:03:46 PM »
Good idea! The butter would never soften! howver, the cat would surely freeze to death...

Offline Golden-Death

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #7 on: January 07, 2007, 12:29:48 PM »
Surely cats don't have to be alive to land on their feet. ???


Offline Mank

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #8 on: January 07, 2007, 12:35:49 PM »
Surely cats don't have to be alive to land on their feet. ???

I agree with this man.
If you doubt your powers you bring powers to your doubts.

Offline Golden-Death

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #9 on: January 07, 2007, 05:08:09 PM »
indeed


Offline JamminR

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #10 on: January 07, 2007, 08:50:19 PM »
I agree with this man.

Yes, one more experiment!
*hides his 4 cats*
*yells "Away, Away you mad scientists!"*
"Though a program be but three lines long, someday it will have to be maintained." -- The Tao of Programming

Offline Stickly Man!

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« Last Edit: January 08, 2007, 02:35:18 PM by Stickly Man! »
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Offline Zyklus

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #12 on: January 08, 2007, 02:40:37 PM »
I was thinking, and i realized that there is a problem with the antigravatory cat law, which leads to the eventaul destruction of the cat, even when applied with normal curcumstances, i.e. a simple cat with a slice of buttered toast glued to its back, butter out.  heres what would happen:

The law states that a cat caught in a gravity warp wills spin, and the speed of rotation will eventually increase overtime.  This is impossible.  Everyone knows that when butter is left out for too long, it begins to take in heat, which slowly liquifies the butter, making it softer and softer until it is just a semi-transparent liquid.  Now, while the cat supposedly is spinning, the butter will slowly melt, and soften, because of the atmospheric temperature around it.  Thus, after ten minutes or so, the butter will have softened enough to succomb to CENTRIFUGAL FORCE.  With the cat spinning at an ever climbing speed, the centrifugal force, which pulls everything away from the axis, will also increase.  The combination of centrifugal force and softened butter leads to this: the butter will eventually fly off the toast, bit by bit.  Now, because of the amount of butter dropping, the cat would,  in theory, begin to right itself, slowly turning upright.  The less and less butter on the toast, the more control of position the cat's feet have.  After the butter is about half gone, the cat would be upright, but still hovering, because the butter would still have pull, just not enough to cause a gravitational warp.  The cat would then, continue rotating at the speed it was when the butter lost its hold on the cat's physics, because there is no friction slowing the cat down, only air resistance, which would not have much of an effect.  As time progresses, more and more butter would fly off, until the cat eventually began descending, when the cat's feet overcomes the forces of the butter.  This means that the cat would, after some time, descend until its feet touched ground.  This would cause disaster, because the cat would still be rotating at a very high speed, and when the cat's feet toouch ground, the cat's bones would not hold up to the surface friction suddenly slowing/halting the cats rotation.  This would cause the cat's legs to become mangled, tore up, and pulverized to the point of no chance of survival. Everyone knows that a legless cat is a dead cat, and that shows that there is a fault in the law of antigravitational cats: the cat will eventually be destroyed.

Place the buttered-toast in tupperware.  Then easy-weld it to the cat.

"You can use your anti-gravity cat to replace your dryer!  Place your wet laundry on the cat then very carefully duct-tape butter onto the cat.  Leave for 20 minutes or until golden brown.  Serves 4-5 people." - Martha Stewart
« Last Edit: January 08, 2007, 02:51:29 PM by Zyklus »

Offline Mank

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #13 on: January 08, 2007, 02:46:48 PM »
I have an idea, use quick drying glue instead of butter, it doesn't have to be buttered toast.
If you doubt your powers you bring powers to your doubts.

Offline Golden-Death

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Re: In Soviet Russia, pants put waffles down YOU!!
« Reply #14 on: January 08, 2007, 03:37:03 PM »
"Don't let your worries kill you, let the church help!"

I lol'd.